Wednesday, October 24, 2007 @ 7:16:00 PM
i am useless
i wander why i had to quarrel wif my brother everyday?
is not i wan to,but cant help it.i wished him to be lyk my fren's brother.
my fren's brother is so carin and understandin towards them.
but why mine is lyk so cold towards me and always scold me over small things?
i had tolerated for yrs,lost count of how many fights we had.
ytd i locked myself in my room.
my mum came knockin,i kept silence.
i wished to juz jump out tat window of mine.
leavin a letter and my thoughts on the table n leave the world.
but i noe i cant.but i also no one care if i jumped.
i wanted to be her.but i cant tell her.
i am too scare if i told her,even being frens will be hard.
i kept silence abt tat feelins and love for her.
after a few hours i went out of the room,
goin directly out to eat dinner wif my frens.
my mum said"do u need money to buy food?,plz dun be lyk tat."
wat my mum said,makes me feel so guilt and abit of touched.
my mum had nv begged to me.
tat feelins was veri.....
i wished i could walk to her and say i am sorry.
things went so wrong for me.
i cried ytd while i was in my rm.
i noe u will think i am useless or smth.
a boy cry.hah.CryBaby or some sort.
but i think those tears were all my hardship,
toleration and contribution.
puttin dwn alot of things,givin up alot of things.
i deeply cried before for liane,grandma and my best buddy.
i had nv thought i will cry over my own matters agn.
i was deeply injure,deeply injure.....
